Mad At Computer Ads

Computer Life column for August 15, 1998
by
Richard Gordon

My introduction to consumer protection came from an unlikely source. As a kid, I used to spend my spare quarters on a magazine as fiercely independent as Consumer Reports, but a lot funnier.

I'm talking about Mad Magazine (www.dccomics.com/mad/).

Mad accepted no advertising and was, therefore, beholden to no one. Some of its crude satire helped me begin questioning what I saw or read, especially advertisements.

I remember one satiric "ad" in which a shoe store claimed to be selling fancy men's dress shoes for 98 cents. The copy screamed something like "You'd expect to pay $35 for these shoes!"

Next to the price was the tiny word "each." Next to "each" was an asterisk that pointed to some even tinier print at the bottom: "Sold in pairs. Second shoe: $34.02."

Some computer stores resort to tricks as blatant as the one Mad parodied thirty years ago.Most of us know to watch out for bait-and-switch tactics or salesmen who say, "We only had two of those in stock," or "The monitor's an extra $300." But here are two new tricks.

Sneaky Certificates

Some ads include what seem to be impossibly low prices. $799 for all that? Wow!

Then you see the small print: "After mail-in rebates." OK, you're used to sending in rebate certificates, so you skim the fine print and learn that you'll have to pay $1199 then mail in some certificates to get the discount.

Be careful! Sometimes one of the rebate certificates that the store offers is for something you'll not use. The most common practice is to give you a rebate certificate for on-line services from a national Internet provider.

What if you already are using an Internet provider and have no need to switch? What if you are taking your new computer to college with you? Most colleges give you Internet access without your having to purchase services from a commercial provider.

In essence, the store is subtracting a rebate offered on an additional service that you might not purchase from the price they emphasize in their ad. Even if you do purchase Internet services from that provider, it's still deceptive for the store to advertise the rebate on Internet services as if it were a discount on the computer itself.

Which Chip

Windows computers are made with such a wide variety of processor chips that some retail outlets count on your confusion to help them sell older, slower computers.

If you watch a lot of TV ads for computers, you may think an Intel chip is best and that the higher the number next to the letters "MHz" the faster the computer's processor can go.

Would that it were that easy. Let's say you decide to buy a lower-end, 266 MHz Windows system. Different 266 MHz systems are made with one of three different Intel processors or ones made by AMD and Cyrix. Each computer performs as differently in real life as would a car, truck, and tractor if their engines had the same "horsepower rating."

The clock speed of the processor chip is only one of several variables that influence the actual speed of the computer. For example, Intel's less-expensive Celeron chip lacks a feature called an L2 cache, making a computer with a 266 MHz Celeron processor slower than one with a 266 MHz Intel Pentium II, AMD, or Cyrix processor.

If a bargain Windows system doesn't have an Intel Pentium II processor, some retailers put the clock speed of non-Intel chips in big print (and AMD or Cyrix in tiny print) or disguise the age or limits of less-desirable Intel processors by just saying "Intel Processor" or "Intel Inside."

Look for independent reviews at sites like c|net's Computers.com (www.computers.com) or in a current computer magazine. For example, September's PC Magazine includes performance ratings for 37 inexpensive computers, including the results of three specific benchmark tests (www.zdnet.com/products/content/pcmg/999pcs/). C|net's site also includes "performance" and "game-playing" ratings for many of the systems they review.

If you read the fine print and educate yourself, you'll not get Mad at the ads.

Copyright © 1998, The News Journal Company

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